Friday, June 17, 2011

Why I truly miss '95....

Peace world.  Its amazing how a single year can completely switch your focus and change your opinions.  On family, music, the government, on... life.  1995, the year AFTER I graduated from high school, probably remains the most significant year in my life, in terms of personal growth.  No, I didn't convert to Islam, rescue three children from a burning building, or release a platinum single on Bad Boy.  But I was discovering myself.  Music had a large part to do with it and really... the discovery actually began in '94.  But in 1995, my eyes REALLY opened.  Raekwon, 2 PAC, Smif-N-Wessun, Dogg Pound, Mobb Deep, Pharcyde, and the GZA had a lot to do with it.  Not only did I think those albums (and many other releases) were incredible, but many of the songs on those albums became the soundtrack of my day, culminating with Friday nites at St. Andrew's... easily some of the best days of my life.  Freestylin' in the neighborhood, the parkin lot and sidewalk outside the club, inside the club, in the car... all of this taking place while funny cigarettes were being lit and passed around, making me really hungry after they were gone.  Catching the bus.  Walking to the store.  Relationships with females.  Meeting new people.  Going to festivals downtown.  Drinking and smoking... so many other things that may seem simple to some but were responsible for making me the person I'd eventually become.  Do I still do some of those things?  Sure.  Do I still enjoy some of those things?  Sure.  But for some reason, none of them FEEL the same anymore.  Not because I'm not interested but because I feel out of place.  Almost as if I've become a creature of habit.  Or if this is some sort of weird sensory dislocation.  Every now and then, nostalgia creeps in and I begin to reminisce.  I'm not sure if I'm getting older and wiser or stubborn and not willing to change.  But why should I have to? Why can't things be the way they used to in '95?  Things were a lot simpler.  We weren't slaves to technology.  Now, technology has its advantages... I'll admit that.  But honestly, I know some things just aren't for me.  So excuse me if I continue to live in the past.  '95, '85... anything but this current year we live in.  Advance with the times... what if I don't want to?  I wanna remember things the way they were when I was content and at peace.  At peace musically, physically, spiritually, and mentally.  That was my perfect balance.  So if I don't fit in your universe, I'm not mad at that.  And you shouldn't be, either.  I haven't given up on one day co-existing and sharing ideas on how we can make things comfortable for future generations.  But its gotta start from within all of us.  Perhaps one day I'll see you in the future.  We can sit back and play ATARI 2600, Super Nintendo, or Genesis.  We can actually have a conversation instead of texting each other IN THE SAME HOUSE.  We can actually say what we feel and give constructive criticism instead of being labeled a "hater".  We can think progressively, hoping to somehow align the present and the future, without ignoring the past.  But if you aren't ready, I can't make you.  I can only tell you how I feel.  We used to be able to do that, ya know.  When you're ready, let me know.  Until then, I'll have on my headphones.  Out....


  1. i love it. i think everyone has that time. the time when things don't seem so serious, like you have all the time to watch the clouds go by and breath and just be you. i feel it. we get so caught up after bills and babies and let downs, but somehow i still manage to pop in and get that feeling every now and then, like its an alternate universe i can visit when i want to. but i guess thats what memories are for, maybe life isn't meant to always feel like that...
    maybe the key is accepting the phase and trying to figure out what the next one is. so you can enjoy it before it's gone...;)

  2. ha ha ha this obviously speaks to me... I'm with ya.

    I mean come on, I release music on cassette tape, I could only play 2D video games as well, and I get bummbed with the whole text message and iPod era... It has made people socially retarded. I agree some of the tools we have today are good to have to a point... I mean people don't even get in cars and cruse with their friends anymore and get lost and explore new things, now everybody has those stupid navagators which has made people loose their sense of direction, which has made exploring obsolete.

    I believe a good reason why things are so different and people tend to seem less passionate; is because a lot of us are over exposed by art, culture and sound. we can see and hear anything just by the tips of our fingers, which makes it less appreciative... it's like what happened to food in the agriculture era, before that people use to stop and acknowledge the time that was spent into preparing a meal, and truly appreciate what they're eating. Then food got cheap and easy to get, and now it's just fuel people don't even care what they put in their bodies, and I believe its getting that way with music, people just load up their iPods with a shit load of albums, and never sit down to listen to a whole record from begining to end... it's sad because it's become about quantity not quality

  3. 1995 was a great year wish I could go back man everything you said IS on point computers have fucked the world .lol im on my phone now but bring back a pay phone ...

  4. Thanks for blogging Leaf, this is great. I love to think back to those times in the mid-90's too, I know we have talked about that a few times :-D

    It will never be the same and I am so grateful to have those memories and hear those songs for the first time on the radio. NICE. Big love dude.